Sweetastic

I read this on foxnews.com.  Hilarious!

A 10-year-old boy thought he had discovered a novel way of getting off school — glueing his hand to the bed.

Diego Palacios had so much fun over the Christmas holiday he was in no rush to get back to lessons.

He had to be freed by emergency services in Monterrey, northern Mexico, after his master plan went wrong.

His mother, Sandra, spent nearly two hours trying to free his right hand with water, oil and nail polish remover, but to no avail.

“I didn’t want to go to school because vacation was so much fun,” the youngster explained.

He told how he sneaked into the kitchen in the early hours and then covered his hand with industrial-strength adhesive.

His mother woke up to find him watching TV with his hand stuck to the bed.

“I don’t know why he did it,” she said. “He’s a good boy but mischievous — like all kids.”

His hand was freed by paramedics — just in time for school.

A lady recently wrote an editorial:

Recently large demonstrations have taken place
across the country protesting the fact that Congress
is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that
the US might protect its own
borders, might make it harder
to sneak into this country and,
once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand
the thinking behind these protests.
Let’s say I break into your house.
Let’s say that when you discover
me in your house, you insist that I leave.

But I say, “I’ve made all
the beds and washed the
dishes and did the laundry
and swept the floors. I’ve
done all the things you don’t
like to do. I’m hard-working
and honest
(except for when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters:

You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to add me to your family’s insurance plan
You are Required to Educate my kids
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me and to my family
(my husband will do all of your yard work because
he is also hard-working and honest, except for that
breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out,
I will call my friends who will picket your
house carrying signs that proclaim my
RIGHT to be there.

It’s only fair, after all, because you have
a nicer house than I do, and I’m just
trying to better myself. I’m a hard-working
and honest, person, except for well,
you know, I did break into your house
And what a deal it is for me!!!